It’s been harder and harder to write these because as the days go by I feel more and more normal, more like myself. I know this might not be the case after round number 2 but I’m going to enjoy every day until then, and even every day after as much as I can. I have a long way to go but I’m counting down the days and it doesn’t feel so scary anymore. I’ve been going to yoga a lot recently since it’s one of the activities that I was approved on from my doctor. The activity situation has been another source of frustration. Before all of this happened, I used to love going to the gym and I was really big into kickboxing. I even wanted to test out my skills in a real ring one day but during chemo the doctor said not to do anything too extraneous. So, yoga it is! I was never a huge yogi, I never really had much patience for it. I always wanted to be running around or hitting the bag but I’ve started to actually really enjoy it. I haven’t really mastered the whole mediation aspect of it or feeling one with the earth, I’m doing it to get better. Hoping that this activity will help me in my fight, so I will do it every day that I can with a huge ass smile on my face. I’m not even that bad at it, shock I know. If you know what I look like, I do not have a yoga body. I look more like a sumo wrestler without the little ponytail or the diaper. I even surprised my yoga teacher yesterday during class. She wanted us to work ourselves into wheel pose, which for you non-yogi’s out there, it’s a backbend; the one all the little kids in gymnastic classes used to do or for better reference, how the exorcist walks down the stairs (and the reason I didn’t sleep for a few weeks in elementary school). “Now some of you might not be able to master this pose and if you need to stay in bridge pose that’s ok, no shame.” As I look around the class of 2 people and see twig 1 & twig 2 already upside down. Ohhh she’s talking to me. As I successful not break my neck and rise into a wheel. I will be a yogi by the end of this and I better have a kick ass yoga body too.
Regarding the hair, I'm still struggling a bit with what to do. Shaving it before it falls out gives me control and will let me remove it in my own time. But with chemo being on Monday and the day before being father's day, I don't think the best present I could give to my dad at the moment would be to cry in the bathroom all day and walk out looking like a skinhead. It might have to wait. I've been going back and forth with what to do and really haven't made up my mind yet. I'm not sure why it's such a hard decision to make, it's coming off one way or another. I'm definitely getting a little more comfortable with the aftermath though, I even went so far as to purchase a Kylie Jenner like wig yesterday. Old school Kylie though so it's teal. Anybody remember when she had a hair extension line out, is that still I thing? I might be her best customer. I was also told that you can get custom made hair wigs on Etsy, which to be honest really freaks me out. Where do they get all that hair? I'm just picturing a little quaint old lady walking down to her basement where she has gorgeous girls locked up and only feeds them salads with biotin sprinkled on top. Could be the next big thriller movie? Either that or chemo is making my thoughts real dark. I did not go the Etsy route but I did order that teal wig online so I have no idea what it's going to look but I heard from a good source they look real. Well we will see, all together, as I promise there will be pictures good or bad. Hey, maybe I'll come out of this literally looking like a Kardashian with my new yoga body and wigs, cause I promise no matter how much weight I lose I will still have a bigger butt then Kimmie K.
Since this all started I’ve heard so many stories of people affected by this disease. During the beginning, I was only told the good stories, for obvious reasons. I didn’t expect to hear any of the bad, but they’ve started coming. Since we’re all in this together I’ve decided that I want to hear them all and have this be a place of sharing the good, the bad, the inspirational, the sad, whatever you want to talk about, go for it. Everyone knows someone affected by cancer and as I’ve said many times, writing has been helping me, so I’d like you all to write it out if you’re so inclined. I’ve left the comments open on this one, so please write away. And although I shouldn’t have to ask, please be respectful and kind to all.
xx
Kim