Feeling a little more positive today. Probably because I just planned my imaginary beach getaway for hours on end. HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT TURKS AND CAICOS HAS TO OFFER. I have and I cannot wait. I want to be snapping my fingers and handed a drink while sitting next to a pool. Wouldn’t even care if I was bald while it was happening, I am so excited. I originally was hoping that this trip would be happening around February but after my recent meeting with my surgeon I once again have to postpone my plans. Good news though, my surgeon also confirmed that the masses are getting smaller the only problem is that the future is murky. Basically, after the chemo I will be scheduled for another MRI to check and see how the cancer has shrunk or not. This MRI kind of gives the surgeons the base line of what to expect when they’re cutting me open. The surgery will be scheduled about 4 weeks after my last treatment which puts me right around the first week in October (which of course right around the Avon walk, I’m such a lucky girl). During the surgery is when I will know what to expect following. They will inject me with color dye which will light up my lymph nodes and they will be able to tell which ones are cancerous and which ones are not. If they find that all my main lymph nodes are cancerous then they will remove them all AND I will be scheduled to get radiation. After the radiation, I will have to wait 6 months to get my full reconstruction. That would put me around March for my final surgery. If they go in and find that only one is cancerous than they will only remove that one and I will not have to get radiation. After that I will have to wait 3 months to get my reconstruction surgery, which would put me around December. The more I type it out, the more confused I get. There were so many dates and lymph nodes thrown around in discussion with my surgeon that I barely know which way is up. All I know is that best case scenario I get to keep my lymph nodes and I’ll be done with this shit around Christmas. Worst case, I’ll have fat arm forever and won’t be able to get this shit done until the end of March. Fingers crossed that I’ll have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Who said that 2016 was the worst year ever because I’m willing to bet money that 2017 trumps (heh) it.
I’m meeting with the plastic surgeon in a few weeks so I will hopefully have a better understanding of what’s next and what my new friends will look like soon. My surgeon also said that recently a lot of younger patients are getting their own tissue made into their new boobs. I totally opt for this option. You can take out my fat while I’m under? Hell yea, sign me up. My yoga body might actually come without me having to work for it! HURRAY. In all seriousness, she did state that most people are opting for this because a. they don’t have to put a foreign object in their body and b. they still don’t know the shelf life of implants. If I went the fake route I could potentially have to go back under the knife 1-2 more times in my lifetime to get them fixed. No thank you. The only problem with using your own tissue is that it’s around an 8-10-hour surgery and the recovery time is a lot longer. At this point if I’m going under the knife once I’d rather do it the right one and be done with it. I’m going to be asleep, what do I care how long it’s for? Just kidding! What route do you think Kylie Jenner went? Should I bring a photo of hers in to my next appointment? Kardashians here I come.
You know what I miss almost as much as wine? SUSHI. Sushi was truly my favorite food in the whole world. I honestly think I could have eaten it every single day for every single meal if I was allowed. If you think I’m joking I’m not, some days I would wake up and crave it for breakfast or even when I was hungover I would want it. Which in retrospect was the worst idea ever, just ask my friend Marissa, not a pretty day. The point is I love sushi and it was taken from me. My favorite things in life were ripped from me. So many things that I can’t indulge in and it blows. I’m pretty much on a pregnant lady diet but a little more intense. I can’t have sushi, alcohol, unpasteurized cheese (goat cheese, I miss you), cold cuts, limited caffeine…there are more but I’m having chemo brain. The list was a lot longer when I was originally diagnosed. My doctor told me to stay away from salads from restaurants because they might not wash their lettuce correctly, I needed to take off the skin of all fruits and vegetables that I could, and in the beginning through research and the help of my anal mother we stopped eating soy BUT thankfully the nutritionist at Sloan told us we were crazy and that the soy thing was a myth and that I couldn’t be bubble boy forever. So, I have added back salads and skins to my diet but they can never replace my long-lost love sushi. I am already planning the day they tell me I can drink and eat sushi again. I will be sitting at Minami with four tables in front of me filled to the top with sushi, hell I might rent the place out for the night. So as soon as I get the go ahead I’ll send out an alert and you all better meet me there. Sushi on me.
I’ve decided I should probably start giving out tips to anyone who might also have to go through a similar adventure to make it a little easier. Hoping to make anyone a little more informed than I was so here’s one tip to start it off with:
Everyone is different. Every cancer is different. Every experience is different. Don’t listen to everything you hear (expect from me because I’m an expert... just kidding). But really, once you are diagnosed you will hear the most insane shit that you didn’t ask for from some of the stupidest people in your life. Smile, say thank you and then forget it. I’m 3 months into this and people are still telling me about their experiences and how certain situations in their life seem comparable. Listen, they’re not the same, we are not the same, but thank you :)
Again, thank you all for taking this adventure with me and helping me with the Avon 39. I’ve raised so much money for breast cancer research that it honestly shocks me. I didn’t realize how great and extensive my support system would be since going public with this. So thank you all, my breasties.
xoxo
Kim